Dirty UNIX Jokes (and the UNIX Orgy) (Tuesday, July 01, 2008 8:45:00 PM)
So, I've been doing a lot of AIX and HP-UX at work lately. I've used
UNIX before, but I have to take these basic UNIX training courses again
(because that's what "the man" says I've got to do).
Instead of actually
doing the training (crazy, right?) today, I
started IM'ing my friends with dirty UNIX jokes. Sooner or later,
things got out of control and I came up with "The UNIX Orgy". Now,
before you read this, let me silence a few of the naysayers right away:
1. Yes, I do occasionally get laid.
2. My maturity level is closer to a 9-year old, not a 12-year old, thank you very much.
... and with that I give you
The Unix Orgy!!
$ cat me her
$ touch myself
$ finger theGirl
$ man mount
$ cat Next
$ cat joins_in
$ cat gives_me | head Next
$ du her | more
$ man comm
$ nice show
$ talk theGirl
$ sleep 7h
Entertained? I was. I laughed my ass off at my own perversion. And,
as my friend at work said "You know only 2% of the world is going to
get that joke, right?", to which I replied "Yeah, but among that 2%
this would KILL!"
So, here's what I'm asking of you now. Let's make this a contest. I
want to see the best Dirty UNIX Jokes you can come up with. I tried to
make all of mine valid commands and minimized the amount of string
names I used. Don't just come up with "mkdir
SoThisOneTimeIFuckedAGoat" or something.
Let's hear 'em!